We, their friends and families felt their pain.. I was here in Japan last year and was able to spend some months with my "tay" (that's what we call him, he is everyone's Itay) .. i felt his pain.. there were a lot of times that he would tell me he misses his daughter and that had he been there during the tragedy, he would have done something and things might have ended up differently.. and i would tell him that no one would have wanted it to happen that way.. no one knew.. no one saw it coming.. i also remember telling him to keep writing letters to his daughter, to write down his feelings and express his agony of losing his daughter in order to somehow ease the pain.. and i always remind him to always cherish his other children and my kumare.. coz life is indeed so short.. we will never know when the Creator would take it back from us..
And now that i was able to read his letter, it made me proud that somehow, he is in a better level in coping up with their loss.. i felt the pain while reading this, it is really heart breaking and such a tearjerker.. coz somehow i still believe that no parent is suppose to bury their child.. but it's God's will..
To my friends, tay and marse, we will always be praying for your strength, for your peace and acceptance for whatever pain this tragedy had caused you.. be it physical or emotional.. i know your love for one another and your love for all your children will keep you both going however tough things may go..
To their angel up high, we pray for your peace as well... pray for your dad, your mom and your sibs too.. be happy and whisper to the Heavenly that your family will be given the strength to move on from this, and make them feel assured that you are well taken care of our Creator, wherever you may be..
Now here's the letter which I would like to share with you.. to learn from it.. and learn to appreciate our loved ones while they are still with us...it was written some months back, but since yesterday marked their second year of loss, i read it and wanted to share it with you..
"My Dearest Yana,
Do you have facebook in heaven? Maybe God plays Angelville that’s why you’re no longer with Dad. God harvested you because you have done so much good and matured a lot earlier. I do miss you a lot, maybe you can read this and then tell me that you are alright, or better yet, drop me a line will you? Invite me as your neighbor, anyway I know I am not ready to be with you yet. I still have Mommy and your sisters to take care of. It won’t be an easy job without you, but somehow I know I will manage. Because you are there watching and guiding me to do good…
How is it that God needs you more than I?……
I guess I will never know.
I do cry a lot and I try to hide it, but you can see me right? You’ve made dad very sad. But I know it’s not your intention. I feel that you miss me too, you miss your mommy, ate Yami and Yael. There are reasons why you’re not here anymore. I just hope I have the strength and courage to wait for those answers. You are so brave, I want to be brave like you, but to be brave, it means I have to let go…
Daddy wants to be brave, so I am letting go and accept that I won’t see you in this lifetime again.
But it’s not easy…but I have to. I have to believe that everything is alright.
I have to believe that we will be alright. I just want to believe that life is still good after you’ve left us and the pain of missing you will make daddy and mommy strong.
I want to have faith in everything…
So Daddy can let go…
Please do take care of yourself, I was not there when you needed me most and I am so sorry. I am still in so much pain from that thought. I wish could have done something. If only daddy went home early. I am really sorry. I just wanted the best for you, I know you understand that.
I will miss the times that you’ve been very patient with me, understanding my faults and seeing through my insecurities. Loving you and to be loved by you is one of the best things that ever happened to dad and losing you is my greatest hurt…
I love you Yana, so much. You are now daddy’s angel. Be with me always.
Love,
Your Dad
xxx
P.S.
To God,
Please do take care of my baby Yana. She’s a very special kid. She too will take care of you just as she took care of me. I am quite jealous of you now, her embraces and kisses will be yours to keep but only mine to remember and long for. She likes listening to stories, please tell her how great a child she is to me. That she is her mommy’s sunshine, ate Yami’s pride and Yael’s miracle. Tell her that we love her so dearly. Tell her things I could not. Show her the love that I wasn’t able to give. Tell her I miss her…"
xoxo
